Victim Blame and Shame

“I applaud your efforts (with this awareness campaign). I think it’s a great start and it is the iceberg of the greater issues.  The greatest thing this year gave me is the understanding that cruise ships are toxic and hyper-misogynistic (not everyone, but enough) and it poisoned my soul, made me question who I am and my worth, destroyed my confidence. (I was in a middle   management role) Yes there were times   I was harassed and one specific time that had I not acted quickly I would have likely been raped (but was able to get them out of my room), but the systemic disrespect of women, our skills, our ability to lead etc has to end. We deserve better.”

“I kept getting calls at   3 am in the cabin. Went to speak to the GM (female). She said it was my fault cause i was too pretty, using makeup, and too kind to everyone. I was working at the spa and make-up was part of my uniform.”.

“When I reported the first sexual assault I experienced, at the hands of my supervisor, I was told it was my fault. I and my supervisor were put ashore at the same port so as to no longer be the captain’s responsibility.”

“Sexual harassment onboard happens daily. Sexual assault happens on a regular basis.   If a female drinks at all, any level of harassment or assault is treated as   her fault. With so many different cultures, many HR and Security don’t always understand and revert back to patriarchal ideas instead of believing victims and doing something about it. The assault has to be pretty atrocious for anyone to believe the victim.”

“It was blamed on the alcohol I had drunk. I was fired because of this.”

“I didn’t report it as id tried to be nice, because we both had a lot to drink. When it escalated again, I threatened to report it if the other person did not stop.”

“I went to HR and they said there was no proof so there was nothing they could do. My word against theirs”

“Sexual predator took advantage of me while passed out asleep (drunk).

“I was insulted by other crew just because I reported the situation”

“I also experienced sexual harassment by passengers. Often went unreported, because when I did report it, I was blamed and/or nothing was done/I was ignored.”

” The assailant has the same nationality as my managers and the company, which is a big issue of benefit or non-benefit in that company. When I talked to my manager he asked misplaced curious questions about the incident instead of helping me.”

” I have reported bad behaviour from other crewmembers. More than one time supervisors invited me to stop or be quiet and gave me the fault. I’ve been warned for that and partially ignored.”

” I punched the man after telling him two times before that if he didn’t stop I   was going to hit him. We both got reported to the Chief Engineer and we both got final warnings; one for him for the sexual harassments and one for me for hitting him. I still don’t think I should have gotten a warning.”

” Crew member nd didn’t take no for an answer, after showing HR   screenshots of his messaging to me and a picture through my eyepiece of the door showing him outside at night trying to find my room they fired him, He later messaged me on messenger saying I got him fired and he is upset and wanted to know why and kept trying to phone me. Eventually, I just had to block him .”

“After I reported, retaliation started and went to a stress episode, did not sleep for 4 days and no help from medical. They send me Home with administrative leave. It was traumatic.”

“I reported him and he got fired but I got sent home also. The manager and team bullied me, gave me a final notice. Members of the team said I “was one of those girls who lie about rape” even though I reported him for stalking and had evidence on my phone.”

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